USA Today takes its McNewspaper treatment of real news and applies it to its patent-pending bite-size formula to a realm so much more deserving: the summer season of celebrity.

From the out and proud (Whitney and Bobby Brown) to the quiet and removed (Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie), Karen Thomas has you covered. They've also made use of color-coding to break it down a bit easier for you, which makes learning about Ben Affleck's silent sequel to Bennifer 1.0 so much more convenient.

The effect on his and Jennifer Garner's images:

Really good … He's a politician in the making, and they look like Mr. and Mrs. Clean Image. They're out and about, saying to the paparazzi, 'Here we are if you want to catch us.' It is very savvy. Very hip. They get my vote for the cleanest PR campaign.

The way he manages his PR is about as close to "savvy" and "hip" as Affleck can hope for, so a congratulations are in order.