Now that spammers have figured out how to insert their Viagra pitches into images to trick filters into letting their emails pass through unscathed, we've lost all grasp on which bold subject lines in our inbox are legit. But anyone wise enough to put "Maureen Dowd" in the subject line to an email to us instantly wins at least a single left-click and a glance, even if we're nearly certain we're looking spam in the face.

Which meant we opened this email. Subject line: "Maureen Dowd joyful feet."

Yes!!
I seek Maureen Dowd's joyful Feet.!!.
Since G.W.B.took this great nation
to hell.
Rainbow man has been spreading
joy one step at a time;from The Big island of Hawaii.
Maureen Dowd has purpose and truth,i respect the
path she chooses the walk.Crossing lines,openning
readers minds,and giving others something to "JoSSiP about.
Over the past 5years i have custom painted 2000 and sold Aloha Slippers,
to women.They have joyful insight and knowledge to keep this planet whole.
Please inform Maureen Dowd of my quest to seek her Joyful Feet.!!.
Mahalo ihi

Though the email was sent from a one "blake HERMAN," we have it on good authority it was shoe fetishist Michael Cooke behind the note. Or, you know, no authority at all.