Vagina Spelunking and Blood: This Week in Ad Misery
Terrible people get into marketing, so it makes sense that terrible things come out of marketing. Thanks to Bad Men doing poor jobs at soulless companies, this week we're confronted with heads stuffed in crotches and hearts leaping from chests. It's all so ugly.
Oh, what the hell. Let's start off this Bad Men with a picture of a woman sticking her whole head into her vagina. (Click all images to enlarge)
This Thai ad for the Exact brand home pregnancy test – "So accurate it's like jamming your head up there and straight up looking at your womb" – is grotesque for a variety of reasons, none of which we feel we need to explain further.
Our vaginal sightseeing at an end, it's time for something masculine as shit: killing animals.
You see, if you're disposing of your cigarette butts in just any old place, notes this anti-littering ad, poultry might eat them and die. An effective ad if you're a vegetarian smoker who lives on a farm. For everyone else, simply a gruesome image to turn away from.
Let's continue with the gore theme and have a look at this ad, which intends to to get you interested in the Tamayo Museum of Contemporary Art in Mexico City. Because nothing says modern art like a bloody fist violently ripping out of a woman's chest. Note, we're not being facetious at all—this ad is just as bullshit as most modern art.
And speaking of masculine, here's a real manly way to get rid of your tiredness. Follow the advice of this German print spot and MURDER YOUR FUCKING LETHARGY! Brawndo brand energy drink (tagline: "The Thirst Mutilator") will supply the ammo.
Nice imagery in wartime, guys. Who knew the Germans could be so insensitive to the suffering of others?
Finally, here's a Mensa ad for you to figure out. Kudos to the high IQ society for ditching the subterfuges of other advertisers and being straightforward with its intention to insult your intelligence.