You'll have to forgive the professional gossipists. Unlike us, they actually sent staffers to the MTV VMAs and, unlike us, they actually have things like editorial calendars and delays between a story breaking and publication.

So with the last of the filing finally making its way into the pages of the tabs, we can do what we do best: recycle the juiciest VMA scoops under one roof, and what better place to start than Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey.

Even their publicists are at their breaking points, and the feuding twosome didn't make things any easier as they fought over whether they'd walk the Ocean Drive magazine party red carpet together. They ended up feeding their facade one more bite, walking hand-in-hand (barely) down the paparazzi line. Though Jessica's ring was noticeably absent.

And that was just the beginning. As Jessica was gearing up to perform her latest single "Fired Up" at the Delano, she pulled an Ashlee Simpson, bolting off stage when the wrong "back-up track" started playing.

Then Nick had a run-in at the Setai with Bam Margera, who's been making a name for himself as Jessica's extra-marital partner.

Meanwhile, celebrity riders were as extravagant as expected.

For 50 Cent, it was condoms and Cristal, but absolutely no pork (none for Diddy either). Coldplay and Green Day were happy with cases of liquor and Kanye West was content with just water, salad and Pepsi. Can't say the same for Kelly Clarkson (vanilla candles) or Shakira ("relaxed" lighting and drapes over ugly walls).

In other news, four blokes were enough for Jamie Foxx, who closed the door on fellas at his after-party at the Bentley Beach Hotel. And Mariah Carey is staving off her diva reputation, making demands at her sound check but not without a disclaimer.