Last night's The Hills wasn't the only "reality" show that's begging our attention. So too is Vogue's non-reality web series, which debuted its first episode after spending last month wrapped in hype.

On model reality shows, the first episode is where you meet the characters that you're going to love, hate, and want to be over the course of the series. So let's meet the narcissistic talent, shall we?

Meet Cato, 19, from Amsterdam. Her friends were "all shocked" when she said she wasn't going to college right away. She wants to "focus on being a model, like, full time."

There's Madeline. She's maudlin. She's calling Australia home. And she's here to tell you why there's no reason finishing college. "When I was in university I was going to school and I really enjoyed it, but I was also like, 'I'll get to four years of university but then what am I going to do with my degree?' I really wanted to travel and I wanted to go have some fun, so I thought maybe I could model. I went to New York, and I was scouted."

Austria is 16. She's shy. From the Dominican Republic. And when she speaks, Model.Live subtitles her dialogue. She's impossibly tall and skinny, but naive enough to be likable.

But holy crap, is this show boring. Nothing has ever moved slower. Not even Anna Wintour's air kiss. "Painful" doesn't adequately describe what it's like to sit through this. And because it's on the web, you must sit through this at your desk staring at your computer. This first episode has the models' agents at IMG discussing what to do with them. They're as frightened about what they signed up for as we. And we only signed up to watch.

[Vogue.TV]