According to a recent survey, one in four Americans didn’t read a book last year. As a public service, we look back on all the classics you only read the Cliffs Notes for.

We've been feeling kind of retarded lately (no offense), so we thought we'd check out our favorite book about retards (no offense), Flowers For Algernon.

The book is about Charlie Gordon, a mentally challenged thirty something living in New York. Like there aren't enough books about these guys already.

So, since he's not that bright, Charlie is pretty oblivious to how miserable life in New York really is. He has a crummy job as a janitor, his coworkers are mean, and since he's dumb, he can't even enjoy the New York Times crossword.

Well, his teacher Alice sees him as totally ambitious, so she enrolls him in an experiment that will make him smart. The Algernon in the story is a mouse that completed the same experiment before Charlie. Do you get it? Charlie is being used as a lab mouse.

The science of the experiment is screwy, and eventually doesn't work out so well. But the long of the short of it is that Charlie becomes smart. And guess what? Things start getting complicated.

With brains, he realizes he's attracted to Alice. At first she says she's not into "challenged" people, but eventually she likes him too. After all, it's hard to find a man in New York.

Now that he's smart, things are sort of awkward at work. He catches his coworkers stealing and his boss ends up letting him go for being bright. Even janitors lose out on jobs for being overqualified.

Anyway, Charlie starts getting smart enough to see how that he was completely used and freaks out at a scientific convention in Chicago. Even though Alice was there from him for from the beginning, he dumps her and begins seeing his artist neighbor. He doesn't tell her anything about his past. After all, isn't that the whole fun of dating someone new?

He starts working for the lab that made him smart. As a true New Yorker, he becomes obsessed with his career and dumps the artist.

But uh no, Algernon starts becoming stupid again, which means that Charlie is going to become stupid again too. But before he loses his smarts, he reunites with Alice. Just like a man to go back to his ex during tense times.

Anyway, as predicted, Charlie becomes slow again and ends up in a center for retarded adults. At the end of the book, he asks the scientists to leave flowers for Algernon, who ended up dying. If you've been following all this symbolism, by losing his innocence and intelligence, part of Charlie has also died.

This book really makes you think:
• Is ignorance bliss?
• Are all scientists evil?
• If Alice can't even hold onto a retard (no offense), what chance do the rest of us have?