In the coming months America is going to be supersaturated with the self-deprecating self-proclaimed "Queen of All Media," Perez Hilton. In addition to the premiere of his half-hour PR blitz What Perez Sez on VH1, the gossip blogger is also said to be making an appearance on MTV's new show Rappin' With the Stars. Herewith, Intern Joe imagines what type of lines Perez is gonna spit.
I like sitting at the Coffee Bean
While people walk by and hail the Queen
People call me fat, but I'm not preggers
It's just my stomach that looks like I swallowed some keggers
I desperately want to be friends with Britney Spears
But who am I kidding, I'm kinda just an uneducated queer
Celebrities and paparazzi want me dead
but all I wanna do is give Mika head
Tom Cruise is tired of me calling him gay
but I'm like, "Tom, back off, I'll totally draw poopy on you today"
Lilo thinks I'm the biggest joke
I'm like, "Shut up bitch, I'll draw your face with coke"
Editorial Director
Well said Intern Joe. Very smart and snarky. I visit Perez's site but wonder why it is so popular. It lacks a higher intelligence, oh wait, now I know why it is so popular. People can relate to penis's, poop and coke.
HAHA OMG! This is funny. And here I thought I was the only one to think Prezzer is an annoying piece of shit. I'd like to draw a poopy on his face.