Advice columns are crap. The questions are either made up, or answered too late to be of any service to anyone. But they’re still popular, mostly because people get some voyeuristic rush out of reading about the problems of fictional characters or strangers. And usually, the advice is too earnest to be of any use. As bloggers, we understand every nuance of human interaction. So here’s our advice.

From Dear Prudence:

My live-in boyfriend and I have been together for more than four years. We are both in our late 20s, very much in love, best friends, and have an amazing time together—so much so that even grocery shopping is hilarious. We share the same goals and interests, and have challenging, engaging conversations. However, he doesn't bathe on a regular basis. And by that, I mean, he bathes every three weeks to once a month. I've tried to talk with him about his poor personal hygiene, but have made little headway. I've been blunt and angry, encouraging and sensitive, but, lately, I've mostly given up. On his side of the bed, our headboard and sheets have become stained with his body oils (imagine a used bag of french fries). I don't want to leave him, but I'm tired of it. I don't want to live with a dirty person for the rest of my life, and I don't want my kids growing up unbathed because their daddy refuses to. Could this be a personal-growth issue? What can I do?

What You Should Do:

Stop making up questions and sending them to Slate.

What You Will Do:

The fact this question got answered in Slate will only inspire to write more fake questions in. Maybe one about a girl who has a fetish for virgins? Or how about a man who hates blow jobs? Better yet, what about a girl whose boyfriend constantly cheats on her with men and is wondering what she is doing wrong in the relationship?