Advice columns are crap. The questions are either made up, or answered too late to be of any service to anyone. But they’re still popular, mostly because people get some voyeuristic rush out of reading about the problems of fictional characters or strangers. And usually, the advice is too earnest to be of any use. As bloggers, we understand every nuance of human interaction. So here’s our advice.
From Dear Prudence:
I am a first-time mother to a beautiful 11-week-old boy. Right after having him, I was visited in my hospital room by a "lactation consultant." This person pulled out my chart without asking me and said, "I see you had a breast reduction done 10 years ago. That was extremely selfish of you." She then started in on why breast-feeding is the only way. I cried, thinking myself the worst mother in the world. (The breast reduction was a medical necessity.) I have been approached in the grocery store and other places by strangers demanding to know if I am breast-feeding. I have been yelled at by strangers when they see a bottle in my son's car seat. I am being bombarded by unwanted literature on breast-feeding by certain family members. I am simply unable to breast-feed, and my son is on the best formula. There are very few things worse than being made to feel like you are a bad parent, when in reality my son is thriving. What should I say?
What You Should Do:
Tell them to fuck off. Who cares what they think? You’re doing a great job as a mom. Don’t let them get to you.
What You Will Do:
A medical necessity? Did you even care about your unborn children ten years ago? Seriously, you're a terrible mother and a terrible person. A child who isn't breastfed will never have a happy life, meaningful personal relationships or a successful career. But take comfort in the fact your back doesn't hurt at night anymore.
Editorial Director
If you were giving the "best formula" then it would be human milk. Sorry for your distress.
If you can quote the lactation specialist exactly, it might be good to contact the hospital. I am sure they take feedback from patients. The birthing department is also one of the most important ones, so they probably will do something to remedy the situation for the next new mom.
The people in the grocery store probably mean well. You don't need to give them any information at all if you feel uncomfortable. Just say, "really, how interesting. Thank you for telling me that!" and move on.
Right now, things probably seem overwhelming because your body is swimming in horomones from the birth.Go easy on yourself.
If you do all the research you can, and you make a decision, let the issue go.
Seriously, your baby will be just fine. Don't be so hard on yourself. People are always goinng to give you advice and you don't have to listen or care. If you need to then lie to people and tell them you had breast cancer and a complete mascetomy on both breasts. This advice is coming from a mother who nursed both of her kids for two years, who mom, dad, aunt and both grandmothers died of breast cancer, so I don't take either issue lightly. But if you are hard on yourself and unhappy your child will suffer much more than if it gets formula.
Enjoy your life and baby!!!!
i love the hatred shown woman on a daily basis, usually by other woman. no matter what you do its never right and never enough, whether its in regard to your baby, having a c-section , working or just about anything, the american people just love to beat a woman down and expect them to take it.
She has an adorable babe. I saw her husband's profile on millionaire&celeb dating site R i c h C u p i d s.com last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship he is looking for on that site.
onlybs3- you're an idiot.
This mother should just say, "Mind your own business. No one asked you!" and walk away. Breast feed or Bottle feed, the kids turn out the same. The rest is propaganda bullshit.