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Where Will Republicans Flee on Inauguration?

After eight years of running politics and being taken out to fancy dinners by lobbyists, how will DC Republican officials deal with next week's inauguration, the official end to the duty-free days of the Bush administration? Easy: they don't. Time to pack up the bags and take a vacation, preferably until this Obama guy is out of the White House. Here's where the GOP will go during the festivities.


Las Vegas
Odds are good that the only people who still have money after the last eight years are going to want to go out with style. Already, Republican lawyer and fundraisers Charlie and Lisa Spies are organizing an "Inaugural in Exile" in Sin City, according to Politico. Plus, there's no better metaphor for neo-cons than the old Vegas-ism that when the chips are down, raise the stakes and toast yourself to beating the house at least once. Which is exactly what Karl Rove and his cronies will be doing.


Canada
Hey, we all promised to do it in 2004 if Bush won his second term, now it's the conservatives turn to make idle threats about leaving America for our neighbors up north. We need to hold Stephen Baldwin to his word.


Florida
Why Florida? Why not Florida? It was the last stand of the Alamo in 2000, and Republicans can laugh in the sun at all the poor schmoes freezing their asses off back in DC. The New Hope (Jeb Bush) might be around, and Tucker Bounds has already promised to show up, provided that Campbell Brown stay 500 feet away from him at all times.


Stay In DC
The easiest, although most humbling choice, many Republicans and conservatives plan on staying for the pre-inaugural festivities, if not the event itself (I mean there's going to be that whole distasteful gay bishop thing going on). But there are at least three inaugural bi-partisan dinners being held the 19th in DC, and one of them is to celebrate Collin Powell, Joe Biden and second-placer John McCain, so you know that place is going to be party central.


Texas
Welp, we know at least one guy who'll be going there:

"I'll give some speeches, just to replenish the ol' coffers," Mr Bush told Robert Draper, author of Dead Certain: The Presidency of George Bush.

Mr Bush says he "can just envision getting in the car, getting bored, going down to the ranch" in Texas.

I have this weird vision of a bunch of bedraggled conservatives hobbling in from all over America to find themselves in front of George Bush's porch while he sits in a rocking chair and talks about the upcoming war between good and evil. Like in The Stand, with George Bush as the old black woman prophet, except way less coherent and way more gullible.

Comments (13)
No. 1 · fanofgrendel

Me, I'm going to stay home and watch the festivities on MSNBC. I'm putting a bucket if front of the TV to catch all the sugary sap that runs out. Should save me from buying sugar for the next ten years, and I think I can make pancake syrup out of it.

Posted: Jan 16, 2009 at 9:58 am · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 2 · Top Hip Hop Songs

That's a great comment, fan!

Posted: Jan 16, 2009 at 3:27 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 3 · kinky-neo-con

Im just going to turn in my papers at 'Langley',that little farm in N. Va. -Im done with the direction of this Nation for the next 4 yrs… (Welcome to NEO-SOCIALISM under 'da messiah'/Pres. Obama)
Im going to get drunk & stoopid in Miami for a few weeks with some ladies from 'girls gone wild', then break-out my spare passports for Australia, Brazil or Singapore… Anyone have some suggestions?

Posted: Jan 16, 2009 at 3:28 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 4 · anon

bow down to the messiah, ya cryin' bitch.

suggestions? yeah, go to Thailand and wait for the next tsunami.

Posted: Jan 16, 2009 at 4:07 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 5 · Delilah

I, too, will turn on MSNBC and watch Crazy Chris Matthews explode because of the intense tingling in his leg. Maybe there'll be some collateral damage as a result! Hopefully, he'll take that pompous idiot Keith Overbite with him.

Posted: Jan 16, 2009 at 5:14 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 6 · redsongia

I guess they'll all go back to fantasy land, where they came from, where problems like corporate scandals, breaches of international treaties, inflation from all the newly printed money and teen pregnancy just don't exist if you hold on to your "principles"…or, they'll do like kinky-neo-con posted above, and cash in whatever dollars they have left in their portfolios for ringets or pesos or reals and go somewhere far away to bang 3rd world prostitutes till it falls off.

Posted: Jan 18, 2009 at 12:34 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 7 · Karl Spensen

I am amazed at all of the asshole conservatives that came out of nowhere once the other blogs shut down. Were they all die-hard Mollygood fans?

Posted: Jan 18, 2009 at 4:28 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 8 · Karl Spensen

btw - is that a picture of the actual "Fanofgrendel" up there? He looks exactly as I pictured him - a less lovable Archie Bunker for our generation.

Posted: Jan 18, 2009 at 4:29 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 9 · fanofgrendel

Edith, stifle your self.

Posted: Jan 18, 2009 at 8:29 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 10 · Hawkeye

I don't have any plans of the big innauguration day festivities.

I'll just be at my job. Working.

Boring, huh?

Posted: Jan 18, 2009 at 9:02 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 11 · carlo

@kinky-neo-con:
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Posted: Jan 18, 2009 at 10:51 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 12 · anon

"less lovable Archie Bunker"?

I was thinking more like "slightly retarded Salman Rushdie".

Posted: Jan 19, 2009 at 9:12 am · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 13 · fanofgrendel

@anon: I resemble that remark! And polite folk don't use the word retarded these days. Very un-Obama like and mentally challenged.

Posted: Jan 19, 2009 at 11:04 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
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