Comedian and red eye getter-outter Ben Stein made headlines this month thanks to his narration of the movie Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed, a film about the censorship of scientists who believe Darwin's evolution theory might be bunk, and that intelligent design is a more feasible explanation for how humans, fish, and spiders came to be. Getting attention was helped along by him attending movie screenings (always head privately and not open to the press) and lobbying politicians to allow alternative theories to be taught in public school.

So now you're caught up on his brand of rational thought.

Now Stein, who has no money for you to win, is on the trail of the Fox Business Network's answer to Maria Bartiromo. Roger Ailes has his own fleet of money honeys and, although they're seen more in articles about FBN than on the channel's actual airwaves, Stein is, in the pages of Best Life, gaga for 'em. But where, Stein wonders, did all these lovely ladies come from?

The leading theory is that Bartiromo's success spawned a whole class of imitators. But why, the argument goes, didn't anyone want to be the next Jim Cramer? Or Lou Dobbs?

Because when it comes to money, viewers want women! Stein has a few reasons why: 1) Covering money is, at its core, boring, and women spice things up; 2) Losing money is scary, and it's news best delivered by a consoling voice; 3) Nobody actually knows much about money and markets and influences and trends, so a TV screen filled with hotties is a good distraction; 4) There's only one financial bet you should be making, and that's index funds, but reporting that story would get boring after three minutes; and 5) When men see women, they think about buying things, and that's good for the economy.

And ratings.