You know what you get when you're a celebrity and you sign an exclusive deal with a tabloid? Bad karma from the rest of the magazines.

Jamie Lynn Spears, who signed a $1 million exclusive deal with OK! for her pregnancy story and pics, is getting stabbed by Star with a dramatic cover story exclaiming, "Delivery Room Drama!" Since Spears is prohibited from playing ball with the other celeb weeklies, there's only one thing Star can do: deliver one piece of bad news after another. If only Spears hadn't signed with OK!, she could've scored some protection.

According to the Star, docs wanted a C-section, but Spears wanted a natural pregnancy, but when she began pushing the baby's heart rate kept dropping. And! The umbilical cord was too short and was wrapped around baby Maddie Briann's neck, forcing docs to snip the cord while the baby was still inside her mother. Ew! And then new dad Casey Aldridge fainted! Add to add to the drama? Lynn Spears, Maddie's grandma, wants a DNA test right away because she doesn't believe Aldridge is the father.

After reading all this, think how this story could have been spun: New mother Jamie Lynn and baby Maddie Briann are resting comfortably after a problem-free delivery. Family and friends were at the hospital to wish the new mother well, and glowing grandma Lynn Spears was seen hugging new father Casey.