Recent studies show that working out won’t help you lose weight. So why go to the gym? To check people out, of course. But New York Sports Clubs are just as diverse as the city itself. Each gym is like a little litmus test of neighborhood’s population. This week, we investigate all the variety New York Sports Clubs have to offer.

If you had any doubt that New York is an amazing city, look no further than the Gramercy NYSC on 23rd and Park. Just four avenues away from the Chelsea gym, it’s a completely different world. Instead of a rich, gay clientele, members of the Gramercy gym are rich and straight. New York: it’s a hell of a town.

To Brooklynites, Gramercy is often lumped together with Murray Hill. But there’s a subtle difference. Since Gramercy is closer to downtown (but still a safe distance from the crazies) and has that locked-up park, it’s a bit more expensive. Its residents are wealthier and older. If Murray Hill is where frat guys move to after graduation, Gramercy is where Murray Hill guys move to after their promotion.

Up north on at the 34th and Park NYSC, you can spot guys wearing Cornell Football t-shirts; in Gramercy, they’re wearing jerseys from their hedge fund softball league. The men might be richer in Gramercy, but they’re less attractive.

Most gyms have a couple of men who have opted for biceps over girlfriends. The Gramercy gym doesn’t even have this type. Most guys here use the elliptical machine, which we all know in our heart of hearts isn’t a real workout.

The women are similarly less desirable than their Murray Hill little sisters. Their asses are wider and less firm, but are still showcased in yoga pants. These are the kind of women who secretly longed to get picked up at the gym, but sadly return home alone to update their jdate profiles.

All of which makes us sad. The men and women at the Gramercy gym could benefit from a little socializing. The men aren’t getting any more hair, and the women aren losing reproductive years by the personal training session.

If only New Yorkers didn’t fear eye contact from strangers.

Tomorrow: Cobble Hill