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Y'know How I Know You're a Violent, Temperamental Jerk?

Cold Play

Frat boys the world over need to put their meaty little heads together and come up with a new 40-Year-Old Virgin quote to use insultingly when their masculinity is threatened. "Y'know how I know you're gay? You listen to Coldplay!" is to be immediately abandoned, as Coldplay lead singer Chris Martin is on a rampage, and he is not going to stop until mean people quit saying mean things to him.

One British journalist discovered this the hard way. (Sorry for all the crappy British slang that follows.)

During a Q interview and in an acceptance speech at the recent Q awards, Martin had expressed his admiration for the cashiers-made-good from Girls Aloud and so later during the night of the awards, Rees decided to bowl up and compliment the singer on excellent taste in women.

Martin explained to him that he had been told by his wife that he was only allowed to leave her if it was for one of the pop starlets, and by a reciprocal arrangement, she had chosen… Irish crooners Westlife. (Fuck knows why, but then again anyone who thinks eating pulses is a good idea can't really be trusted with anything can they.)

Clearly bemused by Paltrow's choice and not giving himself time to engage his brain, Rees blurted out: "You could have at least told her Brad Pitt." All well and good, given the number of women who'd froth at the mere thought of it. Except, as Martin so eloquently put it…. "She was engaged to him, you fucker." Bugger.

Realising he'd just committed a massive faux pas, Rees tried to comfort Martin with a fatherly arm round the shoulder while pointing out that Paltrow had at least dumped the Hollywood A-lister for him. But sadly these words too failed to resonate with the musician, and he proceeded to execute a swift blow to the chest accompanied by the word "cunt".

Comments (4)
No. 1 · Mich

I think people are yet to understand Chris' sense of humour. This was obviously a joke, the "cunt" and "punch" will have been in jest.

Posted: Oct 17, 2008 at 4:41 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 2 · Dave

It was obviously a joke. The fact that he mentioned Westlife showed he was taking the piss. You guys fall for it every time.

Posted: Oct 17, 2008 at 5:01 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 3 · Darth Paul

Errr…yeah…total joke.
But on the real, Coldplay is gay. Maybe not homo, but definitely gay.

Posted: Oct 17, 2008 at 5:36 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 4 · suck

"But on the real, Coldplay is gay."

You say it like it's wack.

Posted: Oct 18, 2008 at 7:59 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
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