You might turn to the New York Times to get schooled on a news sports stadium, mayoral campaign or even whether it's ethical to help a woman locate the father of her test tube baby — but dog poop? We've reached a new low.

It took two writers to tackle the topic of New York's animal waste management, which effectively began with the horses of the 19th century (whose manure, we were recently told, was used to soundproof hotel rooms) and is now monopolized by those damn yip-yip dogs.

But even with a law on the books threatening a fine against those who don't tend to their animals' public dumping, not everybody is falling in line to keep the streets free of dog shit — but filthy with public urination and i-bankers.

But with a fine of just $50 for the first offense, the law doesn't provide much financial incentive to pick up after your dog. Nor does it seem to be vigorously enforced. Let's pretend that 99 percent of all dog owners do obey the law. That still leaves 10,000 dogs whose poop is left in public spaces each day. Over the last year, the city ticketed only 471 dog-waste violations, which suggests that the typical offender stands a roughly 1-in-8,000 chance of getting a ticket.

And the odds of getting ticketed for carrying that Starbucks on the 6 train? Exactly one in "Go fuck yourself, officer." And we'd much rather enjoy the privilege of public consumption than public dumping.